Needlessly Savage Birthday Cards

A Needlessly Savage Birthday Card is just what you need for your dear friend, when:

• You want to say happy birthday without being all sickly sweet and insincere.
• You can't be bothered buying them a proper present. 
• You don't actually like them that much, but you don't know how to tell them.
• You do like them a lot, but you don't want them to know.
• Your dear friend can't read but likes looking at colourful things.